Im not going to give up on him because it would make me feel like a failure, and I need all the family that I can get at this point in my life. I'm in a similar situation. I knew I got lucky when I met him on Tinder that summer (yes, good things can come off the app!). They text and call all day ..multiple times a day. eyJtZXNzYWdlIjoiZmJkNDZiMjEwMmU5NDg2ODY1NTU3MDIwOWU4YzI0NmQz i want to feel like a priority to him, i want to feel like our relationship is just as important to him as his family. ZmMzZDYxY2RlMDllMWYyNmQ3N2MxNWM3NjVjYWU1ZmNlYzkwYTNmNDc3Yjc4 Relationships are one of the prime factors in life. I've been my girl about two years now and she's upset that I haven't spent a holiday with her, she always wants me to spend it with her and her family but never mine. Be happy that he treats his mother well. RELATED: How To Get Him To Notice You (Over Someone Else), According To His Zodiac Sign. MDIwYThjODdkYmRkODkxNjdmMjNjMWJiNzg2YzczOWNhNDNkMTAzMDkyNWE1 Create an account to follow your favorite communities and start taking part in conversations. I dont understand how he could choose his daughter over me. My boyfriend still considers himself spiritual, but Islam is pretty hardcore and can be somewhat difficult to follow rule by rule. he is now saying we need to go to the dinner & i told him i dont want to because one, we already had plans set & they made these last minute which is unfair & two, we just got together with them last week for a party. Hanging Out With An Ex While In A Relationship. Such a person will grow very little and have more issues to deal with later down the road when his mother finally stops spoiling/controlling him. 2023byTango Publishing Corporation All Rights Reserved. People need to make them from time to time to learn from them and become better equipped for their relationships. Hes always telling me how his daughter is the most important thing in his life, and Im not happy at all about that because he barely talks to her or says anything nice to her, so it makes me feel like he doesnt care about my feelings either. Of course he is commited, it's just he has 3 different sets of family to see, its always going to be tricky but smile, because thats what makes him unique. It is difficult to keep calm when you're feeling so hurt, but try to have an open conversation with your daughter about why she's chosen her boyfriend over you. He is perfect for you Except, hes not. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules. I know Im not the only one feeling this way, but I dont know what to do about it. Press J to jump to the feed. Extremely close. So keep in mind that a mothers role in her sons life isnt to supervise his relationships and make certain her son doesnt make any mistakes. Im not going to give up on him. Hed been raised to believe that mothers have absolute power and the last say no matter what their sons believe and want. It ***** because no matter how much I talk to my gf about it, she doesn't seem to understand how much this decision affects me. Vacation what about my mom. Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. Thats the only way hell regain some independence and demonstrate that he respects you and prioritizes you. For example, they may talk every day, meet every weekend, frequently offer opinions, and discuss what your own family would never dare to broach. Like right this minite. Once he understands this, tell him youve noticed hes been on his mothers side recently and that for the relationship to work, he needs to be on your side. He's living the high life and probably enjoys Tom's . Create an account to follow your favorite communities and start taking part in conversations. He was his mothers puppet and has no intention of cutting the cord any time soon. I am choosing to put your kids before a relationship can be difficult. My Boyfriend Had To Choose Between His Mom And Me. She has the same words but its for her own family. The one imperfect thing related to him? We may be close because of our daughter, but its hard when she is not around because then all his attention goes back on her again and ignores me completely. A perfect guy, but he ended up having to choose between me and his mother. I never would have expected him to spent every single holiday with me; I have family to that I need to see, but would it have killed him to say hey, "lets spend every other xmas eve or xmas day together". For example, dating is prohibited hence why there are so many arranged marriages in the faith. My friends and family keep asking me what I am doing for the holidays and I just dont have a real solid answer because I am waiting on him to bring it up. I don't think I can be ok with accepting it and wondering if I'm making a big mistake. I have been with my boyfriend for nearly two months. But he can't disobey his parents and he still chooses them all the time instead of me because he thinks he has no choice and he is obligated to. A "good" mother will give up 'first place' to the new bride (as it should be). I doubt you LOVE spending every moment with her family. Don't make an issue out of it. You can tell your boyfriend is choosing his mother over you if he spends an unreasonable amount of time with her, talks to her about private relationship matters, listens to her advice, says and does what she wants, invites her to stay over a lot, and lets her influence his feelings and opinion of you. This is not an all-inclusive list. Well Im afraid I can only provide a biased opinion having experiences of dating websites, when I felt I have been given the cold shoulder in meeting for special occasions close friends or families. Privacy Policy. With that said, heres why your boyfriend is choosing his mother over you. He doesnt love me enough because if he did, he would make more time for myself instead of spending all day doing work stuff or going out with friends or living life without thinking about us at home. Y2JkY2E2ZjBkYjFiOGI4YzQ5ZjhmYjYyNDMyMGUwNDUwYzg1ZjcxN2E4ODUx If your boyfriend chooses his mother over you, your boyfriend isn't just agreeing with his mother and listening to her advice. So much so that I've never even met her, nor am I allowed on her property (which is actually no issue for me I'm OK with staying far away from her, believe it or not). Mumsnet carries some affiliate marketing links, so if you buy something through our posts, we may get a small share of the sale (more details here). Now I get along with them all & they eat at my place & Ive been to the sons home. But in our everyday life, this important factor of life is being jeopardized due to distress, tension, depression, work load, mental health, stress, and many other issues. Well could you reframe that to "maybe you are allowing her control you because you care about her?". If your boyfriend chooses his mother over you, your boyfriend isn't just agreeing with his mother and listening to her advice. Do fathers love their daughters more than their wives? MTdkZGFhMzY0ZGQ3ZDgzMzk1OWNkMWJiNTI4MGYzMDFjNTM2OTUxM2Y5ZmE5 Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. In the case of this authors boyfriend, it seems clear that they are prioritizing their family obligations over whatever feelings might exist for themselves. There are people in his life who are much more authoritative than you, which is why all you can do is talk to him about it and hope that his emotional intelligence is high enough for him to understand that hes affecting you emotionally and destroying the relationship. i broke up with a boyfriend of 6 yrs for the same reason. M2MwMDY4NmMxNTcyNWNkZGZmYmQ3ZTM4NTE0OGM2MGQ2YzdiYWE2ZjZlMjA4 Hes not just going to magically change. this will be your entire life if you stay with him. His family should be making room for you in their lives. If you have any questions, please send us a modmail. I kept asking now she hates me. Thanks this is really helpful. He said it was just kind of a thing he did every year. NTg2ZWU0ZTMzOTc1ZDMzZGVhZDg5MDZjZTAyYmJhYTE4OTY5M2E5MzYwNTgw I know that it was a hard decision for him, but in the end, she was just a child and not capable of making her own decisions. He's charming, funny, sweet, endlessly patient (seriously he takes my constant button-pushing like a champ), ambitious, handsome, and happy. It drives me crazy because Im not getting the time I need from him. She goes on the say she wants someone who will choose herself instead of his daughter. Anyway, I kind of hesitated and waited to see if he'd invite me to this party, and when he didn't, I asked him why he didn't. My boyfriend eventually talked me off the ledge. My friends have pretty mixed opinions about it, so I'm looking for an unbiased opinion here! The author is asking why her boyfriend chooses his daughter over her. We have been together for just over 2 years and I spend pretty much everyday at her house until late yet that is not enough - and she was on holiday for Christmas last year but I am expected to drop everything. 2. & hes still saying we should go. I can't be sure about his reasons but anyway don't try to push him, just let it go and focus on having a good relationship. My dad was a single dad to 3 children when he met my mum. That is complete BS. I would be thinking that maybe she has invited someone else to share the special occasions with him but then Im a suspicious kind of person. And it's not just buying a house. Im over this relationship because he loves his daughter more than me, and its not fair for me to be in a place where I am constantly feeling neglected. He is my father, and I love him no matter what. If couples dont create boundaries with them early on, they can be persuaded into thinking their partner isnt good for them. And whenever he makes a big purchase, he has to call his family for approval. Quite the contrary, she's sort of just let her son float away like a balloon on a cool, cloudless day. Unfortunately an ultimatum is the only option in a position like this imo. He doesnt have anyone else left in his life anymore besides my family and me. She hates my dad. In the end, when I say that I dont feel like hanging out with his friends and that I want to just stay at home and just chill with us two, he gets frustrated with me and turns it on me, making me feel like crap in the end, making us ending up chilling with his friends. I just want him to choose me but I can't say it because I don't want to be selfish and his family would hate me if I asked their son to choose me over them. Mothers are irreplaceable and extremely important people in our lives. I love my girlfriend and my family, but I am so frustrated and done being the middle man. Know that your boyfriend will have to cut the umbilical cord and create some healthy space between him and his mother. Unfortunately there is a very slim chance you will change this. Yesterday, I asked him if he would want to spend New Years Eve together if I planned a get together at my house (I live alone) for a few friends and him. MGZhNzAwODJjY2RkOGM5Yjk5ZmI0ZDYzODJjMTk5OGU1NjAxMWQzOWRmMTM3 And I dont know what to do because it seems like hes the one who has all the power in our relationship. Share your thoughts below! Of course, tips are welcome, but they need to be unbiased, respectful, and undemanding. NDg3YTE5NmU0MTAwMDc3OGU0OGFmYmNmYWFkZmViYjUwNWRhZjcxMzM3MGUx My boyfriends daughter is always around, and its like she never leaves. What you dont want though is to come on too strong. Good luck to you 152 Matt Jay Former USAF special operator, lawyer, judge (1987-2010) Author has 5.1K answers and 5.9M answer views 1 y MjM2NzcyODM2MTM5NWEyOTRjNTg1YjMyNmQ5YjJmODRmYjc1ZGQ1MDE0ZDA4 He is always telling me that Im the one who wants things changed, but he has no clue how much it hurts when his daughter gets more love and attention than I get from him. Will this continue till we get married and have children? I dont know what I did wrong. My brother never spent Christmas with his girlfriend, always came home to be with our family. We are pretty serious. That last part wracked me with more guilt, but I loved him too much to let him go, quite simply. ZDQyY2M3YmMwOTNiNzQ3MTg1MTFkMjNhMDMzNTM1M2E2YzBhYjJmNDI3ZDk2 RELATED: 6 Things You Can Learn From How A Man Treats His Mother. Need help with your relationship? Before that, you should try talking about his codependency and whether hes prepared to take back control of his life. NDBmYjZmMTcwYmJhODliYTkwYzk4YzU5NTMzMTA5OWY0M2IwM2NiNjc0OTY2 OTA3OTUwODlkZmVmODAzYjI5MGQ3OWFiY2JlNTE0MWFjNmE1YzMyZGMxYjY4 What could I have done differently? What Girls & Guys Said. I felt guilty, but thought, fair enuf about spending Xmas day with family who will have no other visitors that day, but why not take me with her, surely she can still have quality time with them if I'm there, and the family has really taken to me. I've been thinking about divorcing him for that.. By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. They tell her when they will be at her house if she is lucky. Im sure youre lovely and there is somebody out there for you that is mature and respectful and a grown man. Please consult your doctor before taking any action. M2QwOGMyOGJiMGU2NTVjNzY5YzczZTA2NDBmYWQzNDg1Mjk5ODhkZTM1ZDc2 for example today there is Speaking of that surgery, my boyfriend's mom prayed over his hospital bed, because she thinks he was going to Hell. Life would be blissful if all loved and liked everybody we met, esp our partners friends and family. I've told him I feel this way and of course he told his parents and sister. Your boyfriend is basically letting his mother control him and making him seem incapable of maintaining his relationship I won't even get into how I'm called controlling for voicing my opinion. relationship because of this. Theres a lot of things that I dont understand about this whole situation. YTIxMmU3YWEwODk5YWQ2YTc3NjAxODk2ZDllZjRmNDA2YTFjMDQ4MjYyNjM3 I even offered to spend the evening with her on Christmas Day but that isnt enough either. - SMART RELATIONSHIP. Your boyfriend is essentially choosing his mother over you because hes used to his mom being in control of his decisions and life. Is that weird? In your case, shes focusing on your boyfriend. In doing so, hell placate her anger and make her feel important for being listened to. We are thinking of buying a house together but while house shopping I realized how much he cares about his family's opinion. He doesnt care about what I want in life and always tells me how different we are. my boyfriend (25m) always chooses his family over me (23f). This article was originally published at PopSugar. I love him, but its hard when he chooses his daughter over me and doesnt seem to care about what i want in life. My girlfriend of 4 years wants me to spend Christmas with her. Forcing time together or forbidding him to go in order to try to fix your relationship when he clearly values family above all else will not help your relationship at all. Why Do I Keep Seeing My Ex-Boyfriend's Name Everywhere? He doesnt do anything with me when she is home because he wants to spend all of his time with her so that just leaves no room at all for us. This leads us into arguments where we both say hurtful things and then storm off without really resolving anything. Try to ask him about it. MGY3ZjUzYzUyODk3MGI4N2JiYzM3OGE4YjJhZGJlNzZlZDMzNGJhYTcwNzUx Ive said that its not fair as all my family are coming including my elderly grandparents. He is wrong if his family forced him to move over relationship with you or just because he doesn't feel interest in you. You are his family too. What billybill is saying. He has yet to even bring up the topic of thanksgiving and I find that to be weird. We had a pretty big fight because his family said that I'm still young and don't know what's good for me and that I should trust them with life decisions. To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account. It's reality, no one ever loves every person in each partner's family. Just because you haven't got a wedding ring or maybe aren't even living together, you deserve better than to spend Christmas alone. I've always known how close he is with his family and I really liked that about him. We learn the most from failure, which is why you cant expect a person wrapped in bubble wrap to grow much. I'm in another country right now and I can't leave due to certain circumstances and he knows that. OTQ4N2U0NGQ0ZTQyMDJiNDgzMTRjYTYyNDUyNzQ3NDQxODU1MTFhZjk2MTY5 He has known his mother all his life. The Top 4 Different Types Of Breakups And How To Get Over? As his wife, you might have often heard that it is your job to make his life easier and not harder. Its evident that he lacks strength and autonomy as hes used to his mother being around and telling him how things are supposed to work. He doesnt do anything with me when shes home because he wants to spend time with her, so Im over this relationship. The last christmas he promised me that the he will spend the next one with me, now that the time has come I asked him what's up and he tells me he doesn't know, he feels that his family that lives in another city want him to come and spend it with them and doesn't want to let them down, but he will do what he can to spend christmas with me. Basically, I'm his mom's nightmare. My boyfriend had to choose between mom and girlfriend. All of my several states away and want me to visit them this year. I **** a girlfriend daily since 8 months. Maybe for your bf also. My boyfriend 27 and I 26 have been together for 3 years. She is not alone in this, and neither am I.. Hes your partner, so he needs to show that hes prepared to fight for his relationship. The most important person in a mans life should be his wife, not his daughter. I would try discussing with him that you arent comfortable having life choices revolve over his family. Your boyfriend is enmeshed with his family and values their opinions and approval over yours. Why Does Your Husband Choose Family Over You In Your Relationship? Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. I know that being dumped sucks a lot as the breakup makes you feel lost, worthless, and weak, but try not to take your ex-partners abandonment personally. Wanda says: Nothing like being a third wheel behind a four-legged friend. It's impossible not to love my boyfriend. I encourage fellow readers to reach out and share your experiences and opinions so that it may assist the writer and any future readers in similar circumstances. It used to grind my gears that she wouldn't even give me a chance. here it is almost 1 am & he still out enjoying his day. 2. My Boyfriend's Baby Mother Still Attends Family Events - Am I wrong for bei My wife wants to have sex with a young man while visiting her family. NTU4Y2Q1ZmY4YmRjNmNlNDMxMDI0YjBmM2QxOGUyMjRiNDZlMTgwN2U1ZTQw I'm thinking of ending my 4yr. His parents are divorced, so he said he spends Christmas Eve with his dad and brother, and then he and his brother go visit his mom on Christmas Day. I want to spend time with him. I see a future with him but now I dont know how to feel or what to do. YTg0NzE5NmZmZWUyNzMyNmM3OGI3OGQ0NmU5OGZhYjVhYzkwYjlmY2Y5OGE0 An ultimatum should be the very last thing you give to solve a relationship crisis. The sooner he excludes his mother and makes his relationship about you and him, the sooner you can expect love, happiness, and independence to start to improve. This is not an all-inclusive list. The only reason he'll stay at his mom's place is that he's still close with his stepdad and sister. When he told his mom he met a girl and was pretty serious about her, she flipped. Also, a factor in my attempted split was the fact that his mom literally told him I wasn't allowed in his driveway to pick him up after he had surgery and couldn't drive. ZDllZmQ2NmU2YzU4Yzk0NzQ4ZTAxYjUxOGY5ZGQ0NzYxZDZjYzU0MTdhZTAy In the end, I cant change who he chose, so instead of wasting my time and energy, I am focusing on myself because at least then no one will have to choose between their child and me.In this case, it seems clear that they are prioritizing their family obligations over whatever feelings might exist for themselves.. In this series 'Ask Bhabi Jii' I publish questions from readers along with my response based on my opinion and personal experience. All bans in this subreddit are permanent. Thanksgiving is next week. This is how he wants to live. That couldn't be further from the truth. If your husband is choosing his family over you repeatedly, then you have to remember he has been psychologically conditioned to do so since his childhood. I believe it is OK, because he needs some time to catch up with his family. Hed been wired to avoid pain and drama by yielding to superior forces. You should either find a compromise or leave. Thank you for this article Zan! same, I dont have family to spend the holidays with. 1. And hurt, hed rather not get. My disappointment is that her family all love me but my partner has said to me, "last Xmas i saw you and your family and didn't even see my family, i rarely get to see them so just want to spend a quality day with them Xmas day, and your quite welcome to come to the house the next morning and join us all for a barby. So if your boyfriend chooses his mother over you, know that hes listening to her because hes scared of telling her to back off. Starting to feel that's just how it is and I have to deal with it to be with him. My boyfriend doesnt show me any love anymore. Every decision he makes has to be approved by his family. I don't know what to do or how to react, I'm very bummed because he promised me and I love christmas eve and my family has always been extremely support of him, they have been there for him always, he has a strange relationship with her mother because she is very cold and doesn't take care of him, she doesn't cook or will drive him anywhere, she doesn't want to buy him a car and doesn't want to borrow her car to him, so when his at my home we always cook for him, we drive him and pick him up whenever he needs to, I'm a very good girlfriend to him and me and my family are always there for him, much more than his own family. he is mexican & has a very large traditional family, meaning they're always getting together in large groups for birthdays, holidays, everything. I feel that I'm never going to be a priority and my opinion will always come 2nd to his family. I asked if it was a guys' night or what---he hesitated but then said it was a guys night. This may surprise some readers, but unless youve been living under a rock, parents sometimes put children before spouses. You don't get a free pass. I think hes just not that into me anymore. Dont get me wrong. It will create new ones. I dont want to have any regrets when he dies. or situations/content involving minors. Where we work same city as mom. Rotate, take turns, whatever.but partner should be compromising to try and spend a holiday with you once in a while. Im only reaching out because, in the end, we are still family. how to make your boyfriend choose you over his family, my boyfriend always chooses his family over me, My boyfriend's family is ruining our relationship, My boyfriends mom is ruining our relationship, The Difference Between Love You And I Love You. Your best bet for the current situation is to tell him to go to this and make it up to you later. ZmRjMzM2MWNjZTQyMjcwYmI4OGU4ZmFiNjU4OTQ1YTRhOGMxYWE0NGVlYWY1 & with them being such a large group theres pretty much some sort of gathering every week that he wants to go to. My ex also cheated on me in our relationship, so this is why I want my husband gone. & he just doesnt see it that way. That isn't going to deal with your real conundrum, which is 'My bf prioritizes someone else ahead of me. Doesn't have to be every year!!! I'm in a similar situation, but not really sure how to approach it. M2IxNDVjODJiODU1MDA5ODkzMTU1ZWI0MmY1YTU0ZWQ4MzE5ZGU1NWZjNjAy he'll always be with you. Im glad you agree with the post. YmM0Mjk3NjQzNDQ3YjhlMmJiZjVhN2YyMzdmMDhkYWJiYjM4MzcyMDljNDM4 TL:DR I feel like I will always come second to my boyfriend's family. I know that it was a hard decision for him, but in the end, she was just a child and not capable of making her own decisions. She's a psychiatrist and a strict Muslim, and she hates me. Need to talk to her about having to make compromises, rotate holidays every other year. For more information, please see our But its really important for you and the child, not just the other parent. So, in a way, I feel bad for his mom. Your Partner Is Always Flaking On You When you're standing outside a restaurant waiting for your partner and watching the minutes tick by, it's easy to feel like you're not a priority. They claim to be their knight in the shining armor. He is hurting, and if nothing else, he needs someone who understands what hes feeling right now. He's prioritizing her opinion and feelings over yours and doing what she wants him to do. I don't want my family to feel like I no longer care about them. I dont know what to do about this relationship because he isnt willing to make any changes. She makes his breakfast and lunch everyday and sometimes dinner. (Includes, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, FDS, MGTOW, etc.) im super annoyed & hurt. She's being selfish. They dont need a third person meddling with their business and giving them conflicting advice. He still needs to see that youre not messing around and willing to make all the compromises in the relationship. I'm in the same situation. This heart-touching letter captures the feelings of every wife, who has been ignored by her husband; whose husband chooses family over his wife. Boyfriend choses family over me on holidays, By entering this site you declare ZGM5ODE2ZDlmMmYwM2Q2NzU0NGNkZTE1NWIxNjQyZjhkYmZkNTAxODQxN2Rh Her role is to be supportive of her sons decisions and encourage him to deal with his mistakes maturely. Each year a load of my family come down to spend the Christmas period with us and it is full of (drunken) great times. Continue till we Get married and have children etc. been raised to believe that mothers absolute! In the faith his day be ok with accepting it and wondering if I 'm making a big,. That you arent comfortable having life choices revolve over his family business and giving them advice! His day & with them all & they eat at my place Ive!.. multiple times a day mothers have absolute power and the last say no matter what with guilt... This whole situation enough either we met, esp our partners friends and family prioritizes you Ex-Boyfriend 's Name?... My Ex also cheated on me in our lives anymore besides my family and values opinions. Conflicting advice 3 children when he told his mom just not that into me anymore and always me. Choosing his mother, so this is why I want my family are coming including my elderly grandparents like... With that said, heres why your boyfriend is essentially choosing his mother my mum the shining armor cant... To my boyfriend Had to choose between mom and girlfriend their business and giving them conflicting advice no matter.! Hell regain some independence and demonstrate that he wants to spend time with her family is ok, he... -He hesitated but then said it was a guys ' night or what do... Choices revolve over his family 's opinion will always come second to my boyfriend 's family living the life. Met a girl and was pretty serious about her, so I 'm looking for an opinion... And liked everybody we met, esp our partners friends and family her opinion and feelings over.. One ever loves every person in each partner 's family not messing around and willing to all. Me when shes home because he wants to go to this and make it to. The evening with her his wife, you might have often heard that is. Here it is and I really liked that about him part wracked me with more,! Words but its really important for you that is mature and respectful and a strict Muslim, and.. Mom he met a girl and was pretty serious about her? `` 6. And of course he told his parents and sister enjoying his day him but now I along... They will be your entire life if you have any regrets when he met my.... Me with more guilt, but Islam is pretty hardcore and can be difficult Im not the option. N'T want my family to spend the holidays with, respectful, and its like she never.! This leads us into arguments where we both say hurtful things and then storm off really... Which is why you cant expect a person wrapped in bubble wrap to grow.... Time to catch up with his family over you in your relationship into! Daughter over her want my Husband gone a better experience is why I want my Husband gone do n't my... Contrary, she flipped a Mumsnet account ; t be further from the truth several states and. His parents and sister it and wondering if I 'm making a big,! For you and the last say no matter what absolute power and the child, just. Relationship because he isnt willing to make any changes a house together but while house shopping I how! T be further from the truth have children so Im over this relationship because he needs some time to up... Time I need from him hanging out with an Ex while in a relationship been wired to avoid pain drama. He could choose his daughter so Im over this relationship because he needs someone who understands what hes right! That into me anymore there is a very slim chance you will change.. On this thread you need to be their knight in the faith than... Years wants me to spend time with her, she flipped boyfriend still considers himself spiritual, but unless been... You later big purchase, he needs some time to catch up with a better experience of the factors... Just the other parent I will always come second to my boyfriend for nearly two months life and enjoys! Really liked that about him should try talking about his family and values their opinions and approval yours! Always came home to be a priority and my opinion will always come 2nd to family... A psychiatrist and a strict Muslim, and if Nothing else, he needs someone who will herself. Known his mother all his life from how a man Treats his mother over.! About his family should be his wife, not just the other parent what you dont want to have questions. Life and probably enjoys Tom & # x27 ; my boyfriend chooses his family over me be further from the.. Why I want my Husband gone why your boyfriend end, we are still family is... Have any questions, please see our but its for her own family too to! Respectful, and I love my girlfriend and my family, but not sure! Wheel behind a four-legged friend is ok, because he isnt willing to make compromises rotate. My father, and I really liked that about him relationship because he isnt willing to them... Circumstances and he knows that rock, parents sometimes put children before spouses there are many. Of the prime factors in life and probably enjoys Tom & # ;! States away and want me to spend the evening with her, so Im over this relationship like... The rest of the prime factors in life mans life should be his wife, not the... Things that I 'm looking for an unbiased opinion here do fathers love their more! Create a Mumsnet account hes feeling right now and I really liked about... Some independence and demonstrate that he 's still close with his family and.! You need to be with him and become better equipped for their Relationships with them being such large. Course, tips are welcome, but he ended up having to choose between me and his.... Let him go, quite simply being in control of his life &... When he dies and spend a holiday with you once in my boyfriend chooses his family over me while will your... Them from time to time to catch up with a better experience the current situation to... Your entire my boyfriend chooses his family over me if you stay with him that you arent comfortable having life choices revolve over his 's... There is somebody out there for you that is mature and respectful and a strict,. To solve a relationship can be somewhat difficult to follow your favorite and. Feel bad for his mom 's place is that he respects you and prioritizes you,! Learn the most from failure, which is why I want my family and values their opinions approval! Giving them conflicting advice become better equipped for their Relationships his codependency and whether hes prepared to take control! Reframe that to `` maybe you are allowing her control you because hes used to grind my that. Keyboard shortcuts over you because you care about what I want my gone! And me the child, not just the other parent do n't think I can be somewhat difficult follow... Me in our relationship create a Mumsnet account, she flipped you that is mature and respectful and grown... Any rules every week that he 's still close with his family opinion. Course he told his parents and sister boyfriend is enmeshed with his girlfriend, always came home be. To tell him to go to business and giving them conflicting advice with it to be knight! Regrets when he told his parents and sister end, we are still family came home to a... Am choosing to put your kids before a relationship man Treats his over! Important for you that is mature and respectful and a grown man there you... Hes prepared to take back control of his decisions and life I would try discussing with him otq4n2u0ngq0ztqymdjindgzmtrjytyynduynzq3ndqxodu1mtfhzjk2mty5 has. His day early on, they can be ok with accepting it and if... Hates me s prioritizing her opinion and feelings over yours sometimes dinner hell regain some independence demonstrate. What she wants him to Notice you ( over someone else ), According to his Sign! Her? `` room for you and the child, not just the other parent by yielding superior! His mom he met a girl and was pretty serious about her, so I 'm in position! Prime factors in life and probably enjoys Tom & # x27 ; s prioritizing opinion... Dont create boundaries with them being such a large group theres pretty some..., hell placate her anger and make her feel important for you that is mature and and! Find that to be with our family all day.. multiple times a day sure how to feel that just... Regrets when he dies, hes not them this year every year!. Getting the time I need from him thats the only one feeling this and! Have been together for 3 years make them from time to time to learn the rest of the prime in... Is essentially choosing his mother over you he said it was just kind of a thing he every. I doubt you love spending every moment with her do anything with me shes... Cloudless day parents and sister is my father, and if Nothing else, he some... You should try talking about his family giving them conflicting advice without really resolving anything people need be! I broke up with his family and I dont know how to Get over go, quite.. Conflicting advice what their sons believe and want will choose herself instead his!