Facebook. How to tell if there’s serious chemistry between two people, How to leave your relationship with your head held high, How to stop liking a guy you know you can’t have, Here’s why you should not worry about why he chose her over you, How to Break Up With Your Girlfriend Like a Man & Stop Pussyfooting, 9 Stages of a Relationship All Couples Go Through in Their Lifetime. I hate to say it, and I truly despise having to admit it, but parents do play a huge role in many men’s decision to marry. All of this feeds your insecurities and makes you feel worse about yourself. That being said, I don’t believe in the concept of “too early” or “not being ready” for marriage, so take that as you will. I’m sorry my answer probably didn’t offer much help. Well, this decision seemed to take a very long time. “Why did he choose her over me?” You ask yourself many times over. Should you be angry? Broken men want broken relationships, personal punching bags, and messed up dynamics. [Read: I had to do a lot of self-reflecting and distance myself from the feelings I still had for him. [Read: How to stop liking a guy you know you can’t have]. We are not to be their counselors, or mommy to help them get over … What did she do that I didn’t? If you’re abusive, you will most likely end up alone. [Read: How to handle rejection without making a fool of yourself]. The truth you need to hear, How to stop loving someone else and start loving yourself more. 0 0. Can you imagine? He went back and forth and even moved out for a while. Can you imagine? Im very grateful THANKS so much..... Binxi boo on July 16, 2019:. You go on social media and stalk her. Does he ever put his arm around,hug,try to hold hands, ask you to hang out with him to you? Most of the time, guys who end up doing this also end up single within a couple of years, which only goes to show that the girl they chose might not have been the best choice for them. Also I want to know him more in the process. Just because he had that feeling with someone else and not with you does not make you any less amazing. We swallow up the feelings, whether rage, sadness, or pain, about him and focus on the other woman. You cannot blame her for that. A lot of people will keep partners around and treat them like trash, primarily because they don’t believe their partners will ever leave. If you’re left asking why he chose her over you, it is one of the crappiest feelings in the world. I can assure you he didn’t pick her over you because your nose has a dent or your boobs aren’t the same size. And it wasn’t really about me either. It makes you question yourself. Most men love a free meal, and as much as I hate to say it, most men aren’t decent human beings. Follow us on Instagram Facebook Twitter Pinterest and we promise, we’ll be your lucky charm to a beautiful love life. This is just a fact. The girls are constantly fighting each other instead of questioning the lead about his behavior or choices which would make a whole lot more sense. You probably just need only one reason to the heart-wrenching question “Why did he choose her over me?” You tell yourself that you need to try making sense of things, but in reality, you won’t settle until you find that one reason that indicates it was not your fault, that you are still desirable, and that he has made a mistake. There are people who are literally terrified of failing at anything, and relationships are … You hate her and blame her and probably want to hurt her somehow. He replied with another message thanking me … I know fighting practically and rationality with pain, betrayal, and self-doubt isn’t easy, but over time you will realize you are better off with someone that picks you first whether that is a better guy or yourself. Why would he choose her over me? You compare yourself to the other girl. It can stop you from moving on, living your life, and bring self doubt into future relationships. RELATED: Why Do People Still Get Married? #1 It Is Not You But Him The first thing you must do is to get into the maturity of the man. My Father Chose His New Wife Over Me. You may not personally like it or ever even consider it, but that doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with it for someone else. He chose his daughter over me. I can assure you he didn’t pick her over you because your nose has a dent or your boobs aren’t the same size. 8 0. Liked what you just read? Think about it like pink hair. Anonymous. I think you mess it up a little when tou push him away too far (when fighting). As much as we compare and wonder and worry and stress over all of these things and more, he did not choose her over you for any describable reason. If you get the feeling that this rings true with you, it’s time to pack your bags. Instead of focusing on his relationship with the other woman focus on your connection with him. Probably, almost certainly, no. The truth is that their reasons for choosing the other woman actually (somewhat) make sense at times. And unfortunately, nothing you can say or do will change that. Your heart: hollow. stop wondering why, I did!! I know it won’t give you peace of mind. If he didn’t want me because he chose her or for any other reason I am better off without him, and so are you. Instead, ask yourself what you will now choose over him. He chose someone over you. Your feelings don’t just go away because his did. [Read: To be honest, most guys don’t even see the things we second-guess about ourselves. I think "the girl next door" look is in fashion and you look like a H####R. His friends like her more. Being able to share a laugh, a belief, hobby, or relate to one another over a similar life experience can establish an attraction far beneath the surface. You deserve better. A lot of men use good women by dangling a ring in front of them and getting them to support them while looking for "a better deal.” If you kept pressuring him for a ring, he never would commit, and then later he dumped you, this could be a sign that you were his backup. [Read: Why does love hurt when it goes bad? They almost always say they just knew. He didn’t choose you because he started seeing her before you; because you were moving; because it was bad timing; because of a lot of bullshit excuses you can’t even begin to fathom. I eventually realized I didn’t want someone who didn’t want me, no matter what their reason was. © 2021 LovePanky.com Privacy Policy | Terms of Service | About Us | Write for Us | Contact Us. (Why did he choose her over me?) Trust me, I’ve tried that. All this pain and self-doubt because he chose her over you? After all, he’s getting his. Here’s the truth about why men always seem to commit to the woman he dates after you and why he chose her instead of you. It not only feels like you failed him, but that you failed yourself. Your feelings don’t just go away because his did. But we both also hang out with this other girl who is really amazing. 4 Reasons Marriage Probably Is — Or Isn't — Right For You, This could mean that she was more confident than you, or more financially secure. I know it sucks to not have a clear-cut and concise answer to something like this. This is what I realized was my problem. And with the way social media works, we can now compare ourselves quite literally to the woman he chose. We're pretty flirty with each other, but not super close. why did he choose her over me? And guess what, I have the answer. Is this fair? Ironically, he is giving her that because she is flighty, like he is. I would love to tell you that answering this question is as simple as asking him, but most guys aren’t considerate enough to grace us with an answer. There’s more … Would he say the worst thing you’re thinking about yourself? He should be really confused and you actitude just help him to clarify the things by (hear that) CHOOSING HER! It’s true, and it’s pathetic on men’s parts, but it’s true. Then, I had to look at the situation with a fresh set of eyes and a new perspective. And if he chose someone over you, it feels like you weren’t enough. To a point, I’ve basically shunned modern dating because I can no longer handle another disappointment. Do not hate the girl he chose over you. Then, I had to look at the situation with a fresh set of eyes and a new perspective. Sadly, attraction and marriage decisions don’t always make sense. I wish they did, but they don’t. It is cool. Just because he didn’t pick you doesn’t mean you aren’t awesome and the right match for someone else. If he chose someone else, do not let him come back. Looking at my dating record, it’s been a long string of disappointments. What to do if your boyfriend likes pictures of others girls on Instagram? A man wants to feel free to make his own choices about how he feels, and when he is feeling how he feels. You want those you care about to care about you too. For the longest time, I wondered why guys didn't see me as wife material and would go for the other woman rather than me — the girl who actually put in work to keep them. Most people know when they are abusive. All the time; Sometimes, only when i'm actually with friends come to think of it; No, he usually just stares at me. On the other hand, it stings that — oversimplification alert — something about Kate caused him to choose her over me when we had both begun dating him at the same time. Yes he chose her, ok. so be it! RELATED: How To Get A Guy To Like You Using Psychology-Based 'Mind Tricks'. You desperately need to understand her allure. It took me a long time to understand what men want in a wife, especially when it came to looking at them from an outside perspective. Men absolutely HATE it when a woman tries to take control of his emotions and of his attention forcefully, especially if he’s already communicated that he wants his distance. Seriously, I’ve been there. He is a wonderful dad and is always there for his daughter. He may have used you as a backup plan or a rebound knowing that he would never commit to you. It’s just a fact of life. It wasn’t because you aren’t confident enough or agreeable enough or easy enough. All rights reserved. Twitter. Yusef Osman on May 06, 2019:. If you were too healthy for him, kept trying to make things better, but weren’t putting up with toxic sh*t, there’s a good reason why he may not have wanted to marry you.