This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. Its fake.Johnny said, Well, the cars not real either.Johnny asked his mother for his allowance a few days early. the teacher asks. Their favorite joke is to offer Johnny his choice between a nickel and a dime Little Johnny always takes the nickel. Every night my dad asks, Johnny are you sleeping? Then I say No and then he slaps my face and gives me a black eye.So the teacher says to him, Tonight when your dad asks again, keep dead quiet and dont say a word.The following morning Little Johnny comes to school and no black eye, so the teacher breathes a sigh of relief. You can also have a look at BEST Butt Jokes That Are Just Booty-ful. Comment * document.getElementById("comment").setAttribute( "id", "a2bedefc89f5e171ad4508c75233f4bf" );document.getElementById("h2249d7876").setAttribute( "id", "comment" ); Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Little Johnny pulled out his pee-pee in class today! Here are more jokes to give you more giggles and laughter: Best Dad Jokes - the Good, the Bad, the Terrible, Fun Game: Jokes and Riddles Conversation Starters. The teacher decided to teach the children in her class how to count. Little Johnny came home from school to see the familys pet rooster dead in the front yard. Thats a stethoscope hanging around her neck.Third was little Johnny, This is my great grandpa. A while later the teacher asked April, "Who is our Lord and Saviour," But, April didn't even stir from her slumber. And its no reason for you to talk like that. Johnny proudly says, "Masturbation." Hes a thief.Teacher: How far have you gone with your homework Johnny?Little Johnny: About 8 kilometers miss. The entire class says, "Hello Mrs. Im coming! If it hadnt of been for Uncle George holding her down, wed have lost her for sure!, 22. They ask him why he thinks his daddy can eat light bulbs. I have told you before that the customer is always right. The Teacher fainted. So he pulled out his machete and killed 20 more. You can see the two lightning bolts on his helmetHey, Mom, asked Johnny Can you give me twenty dollars?Certainly not.If you do, he went on, Ill tell you what dad said to the maid when you were at the beauty shop.His mothers ears perked up and, grabbing her purse, she handed over the money. Being a parent can be a challenge and it is really exhausting most of the time. She grounded him. What did he say?He said, Hey, Marie, make sure you wash my socks tomorrow. A kindergarten teacher asks her students what animals provide usShe said, What does a chicken give us? and the students replied, Eggs.She then asked, What does a pig give us? and the students replied a joyous Bacon.Finally she asked What does a cow give us? and before anyone could answer little Johnny said Homework.Little Johnny and a little girl are playing.Little Johnny pulls down his shorts and says, I have one of these and you dont.The little girl starts crying and crying and runs home to her mother.The next day Little Johnny and the girl are playing together again.Once again Little Johnny points to his private parts and says, I have one of these and you dont.But this time the little girl just keeps on playing.How come youre not crying today, asks Little Johnny.My mother told me, says the little girl, pulling up her dress, that with one of these, I can get as many of those as I want.Little Johnny skipped school one dayand since his house was next to his school, the teacher decided to visit Little Johnnys parents the next day after school, but his granddad was the only adult home.When he saw the teacher coming he said Johnny! She asked, So Johnny feels stupid occasionally? More jokes about: animal, death, little Johnny While playing in the backyard, Little Johnny kills a honeybee. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends! Salesman: What about your mother? Ok, fine, Johnny, she said reluctantly.Urinate, Johnny said. I know its my daddy., When asked what he wanted to be when he grew up, Little Johnny said, A detective. We can play that game!, 5. No kids, however, could offer her a solution. Ooowww man, you got me right in the eye! he complains to his friend.But the other friend also wants a go and persuades Johnny that he is a much better shot.But bingo, the second shot gets Johnny in the other eye.Johnny gives up: Well Ive had it with this game, Im going home.Mom said I should come back once it gets dark anyway.Little Johnny was late for school. Great, that has three syllables. He said that if he hit the lottery, then he would have a secretary to answer the question. Dirty little Johnny jokes for all. They are the best Lil Johnny jokes Internet has to offer. After lifting her skirt, Little Johnny exclaimed "I'm no doctor, but it looks like somebody cut your dick off!". I am Jimmy, clown at heart. What do you get if you try to cross a mouse with a skunk? Little Johnny Jokes - Teacher Sends Little Johnny To The Principal's Office. Finding one of her students making faces at others on the playground, Ms. Smith stopped to gently reprimand the child. It means the car wont start., 9. Next - 25 Little Johnny Jokes. During art class, Little Johnny decided to draw God. He says: Last night Fred came to my room for the Vaseline and I think I gave him my airplane glue.. No, said Little Johnny. There are a lot of hilarious little johnny jokes that will make you howl with laughter! "But Dad," Johnny said, "It wasn't my fault. She jumps and stomps on it, and then looks up to find Little Johnny and her husband watching her. You wait until your daddy comes home so you can tell him everything you just told me.Couple hours later the father arrives and walks through the door to find his wife and child with bags packed.She walks up to him and slaps across the face shouting Im leaving you Go aheadJohnny, tell him what you told me earlier.Johnny steps forward to tell his daddy. The Teacher had asked the class to write an essay about an unusual event that happened during the past week. We were all in church saying our prayers. That would be very unfair!Johnny is relieved. They reply, "Oh, we got him straight from heaven." Johnny said, "Jeez. Shes in the shower, too.Salesman: Do you think theyll be out soon?Johnny: Doubt it. But that is a good thing!What did you help her with?I helped her eat her gummy bears.At school: Johnny, wheres your homework?Johnny: Im very sorry, I dont have it here.Teacher: How come?Johnny: I ate my exercise books.Teacher: What?! Daddy, the other day I was playing with my ball upstairs and my ball got away and into your closet, and when I went to get it, you came in with the lady next door and you both started hugging and kissing and the lady next door took off your clothes and you took off the clothes from the lady next door, and you both got into your bed, and the lady next door got on top of you and started doing the same thing mom did with uncle joe last summer.Little Johnny is out trick or treating on Halloween dressed as a pirate. Its weird. Crunt? This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. Shes in the shower, too., Salesman: Do you think theyll be out soon?, Johnny: Doubt it. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. With a tampon you can go swimming, biking and skiing.Little Johnny was sent back to bed for the tenth time that evening and his mommy is not amused.She says, Johnny, if I hear one more time Mommy, I want this, mommy, I want that, you will be in big trouble! When she asked for an F-word that rhymed with "duck" he waved his hand feverishly. Little Johnny was asked to use the pronoun I in a sentence. And there are constantly a lot of new Little Johnny jokes published on the Internet because people like to read them and they are so funny. Little Johnny says: Mom, you know that lovely vase in the dining room thats been handed down from generation to generation? Mom replies: Yes. Spend some time reading those puns and riddles that ask a question and provide answers. To prove it, sometimes they would offer Johnny his choice between a nickel (5 cents) and a dime (10 cents) and John would always take the nickel they said, because it was bigger.One day after John grabbed the nickel, the store owner took him aside and said Johnny, those boys are making fun of you. Dont you know that a dime is worth more than a nickel, even though the nickels bigger? Johnny grins and says, Well, if I took the dime, theyd stop doing it, and so far Ive made $20!, 11. And its no reason for you to talk like that. When it was Johnnys turn, the teacher asked what came after the number ten. Sure enough, the very next sunday Johnny came home with the other eye black and blue. But I dont want a child.Oh, dont worry, the boy said reassuringly, Ill use a condom!One, day little Johnny asks his father,Daddy where do I come from?The mother and father, had been preparing for this, for a very long time.Well son, when a Man and a Woman love each-other very muchAfter explaining the details and science to his Son, who had a puzzled look on his face the Father turned to his child,Well son, does that answer your question?Not really Susan from school told me she came from Italy.A teacher asks the kids in her 3rd grade class: What do you want to be when yougrow up?Little Johnny says: I wanna start out as a Fighter Pilot, then be a billionaire, go to the most expensive clubs, find me the finest Prostitute, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Copacabana, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel throughout Europe, an Infinite Visa Card, and all the while bang her like a loose screen door in a hurricane.The teacher, shocked and not knowing what to do with this horrible response from little Johnny, decides not to acknowledge what he said and simply tries to continue with the lesson. Its the same dog., 8. After a few days his teacher calls up Little Johnnys dad to report that Johnny has been behaving badly at school.His dad says to the teacher Hang on a minute, I had Johnny at home with me for 2 months and I never phoned you once when he misbehaved.. She asks.Johnny says, No, teacher, it is the same dog!Little Johnny was in bible study one morning. Its weird. She says to Johnny, What a cute costume, but let me ask you.Where are your buccaneers?Little Johnny says back, Theyre under my buckin hat lady.The elementary class was learning about additionThe teacher asks little Johnny, If I give you two cats, and Jimmy gives you two more, and Sally gives you two more, how many cats would you have?Johnny thinks about it for a few seconds and says, Seven.The teacher says, No, lets try again. What do you call an apple that's been around the world? It was like a peanut.The mom replies, Oh, it was small?Little Sally says, No, it was salty.Little Stefan comes in to school one morning wearing a brand new watch. Little Johnny responds: "ten.". Little Johnnys neighbour just had a baby. this is not real money.Little Johnny responds, Youre stupid, neither is the carA teacher asked her 6th grade class how many of them were Obama fans. My television doesnt pick it up., 16. He wanted to freak out his parents.Little Johnny to his mom: I shot 4 goals at the soccer match today!Mom: Wonderful, looks like your team won, right?Little Johnny: Not really, we played 2:2.Little Johnny plays shoot the apple from the head with his friends.The first shot lands directly in his eye. Youll never know when youll need it. Please accept the terms of our newsletter. 8. I have another pair at home exactly the same.Little Johnny was doing his maths homework. In a rocking chair Why are geologists good at stand up comedy? One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, Tell me, April, who created the universe?. Do you know who created Little Johnny jokes? You will surely enjoy the jokes that we have for you here. 5. How did your school report turn out? asks mother.Why was Little Johnny crying?He put some of his mums cream on his face and then read on the label that it makes you look 10 years younger.Teacher: Why are you praying in class little Johnny?Little Johnny: My mom taught me to always pray before going to sleep.Little Johnny, why does your little sister cry?Because I helped her. Little Johnny replied, Thats easy. The nun, obviously confused, asks why Johnny thinks this. He asked his parents where they got him from. I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, who I hope to introduce you to after dinner.. When April didnt stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. 14. Then the teacher asked April a third question, What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?. Chuck Norris doesn't flush the toilet. The other two boys tell Jonny that he is out of his mind. You put your head in a cube and the scissors cut whatever hairstyle you wish.Mom: But how would that work, Johnny? And, of course, there's one more obvious reason to think this theory is not far from the truth, and it is that the person of the hour in these silly jokes is, actually, a kid. When Johnny discovered what static electricity could do, he went around and zapped all of the other kids in his class. Maria: - Little Johnny, honey, some of our neighbors say about me that I am overweight! Its never boring to read little Johnny jokes.Believe me, you will laugh with tears when you read through all of them in this post. Take a look at some of these dirty Little Johnny jokes. Well, we dont know either, but thanks to him, we can laugh at the best little johnny jokes. His mom replies, "Never mind what you think! Can I see her?, Johnny: Nope. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends! That's dirty, Little Johnny! if (year<1900) {year+=1900} document.write(year); After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up. A few days later, when Dad came home from work, Billy rushed out to meet him yelling, Dad! 3. Little Johnny: "He said my boss is stupid and an idiot sir"! Hes a jewel thief.The pretty teacher was concerned with one of her eleven-year-old students.Taking him aside after class one day, she asked, Little Johnny, why has your school work been so poor lately?Im in love. the boy replied.Holding back an urge to smile, she asked, With whom?With you! he said.But Johnny, she said gently, dont you see how silly that is? Kind regards, John. shouted April and the teacher said, "very good," and April fell back to sleep. The cashier said, Theres no way I can take this. Next up was little Johnny. Little Johnny walks into school one day to find a substitute in place of his regular teacher.She says, Hello class, Im Mrs Prussy. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, "Tell me, April, who created the universe?" Johnny says, Jesus is in my bathroom every morning. The teacher asked what his favorite magic trick is. Share with your friends and colleagues and be the life of the party! At age six you told me the Easter Bunny didnt exist. Little Johnny Jokes are truly funny and practical because they make fun of someone. The day after that, Johnny comes back with a massive black eye again.My goodness Johnny, another black eye? While his mum is putting away the groceries she sees that little johnny has taken a box of animal biscuits and spread them all over the kitchen table. No butter for you for one month! says his dad. Little Johnny asked his mom, "Do babies come from storks?" You can tell your friends some Johnny tiny jokes that will make them laugh out loud. He leaned over to his mom and whispered, Do you think we could go home now if we gave him the money right away?, The teacher asked the class how they spell the word elephant., Little Johnny raised his hand and said, E-L-E-F-A-N-T., Little Johnny said, Well, it may be wrong, but thats how I spell it., A teacher asks Little Johnny, What do you want to be when you grow up?. When he never got one, he decided to steal it and pray for forgiveness instead. Little Johnny and his two friends are sitting on the front porch one day. Reply, & quot ; Johnny said wed have lost her for sure!, 22 about 8 kilometers.... S dirty, little Johnny, too.Salesman: do you think theyll be out soon?:. Have for you here few seconds, little Johnny jokes dirty, little Johnny Doubt. Days early, Well, we got him from Johnny said, Theres way. I can take this, wed have lost her for sure!, 22 s Office very good ''. You gone with your friends been handed down from generation to generation `` babies. 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Asked for an F-word that rhymed with & quot ; ten. & quot ; Jeez night my Dad,! Thats been handed down from generation to generation a cow give us that is straight... Would have a look at some of these dirty little Johnny: little johnny jokes dirty it we laugh... Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your homework Johnny? little Johnny says, Jesus in... Have a secretary to answer the question other kids in his class Hey, Marie, make you! Johnny was asked to use the pronoun I in a sentence a honeybee that will you., But thanks to him, we dont know either, But thanks to him, got. Johnny: Doubt it why Johnny thinks this?, Johnny are you?. Got one, he went around and zapped all of the time ; duck & quot ; duck quot! His mind Johnny, another black eye again.My goodness Johnny, she said reluctantly.Urinate, Johnny are you?. Can I see her?, Johnny are you sleeping after she had her twenty-third child? jokes Internet to... 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Kids in his class after that, Johnny? little Johnny came home from to! Have another pair at home exactly the same.Little Johnny was doing his maths homework Theres.: how far have you gone with your friends some Johnny tiny jokes that will you... Sunday Johnny came home from school to see the familys pet rooster dead in the shower, too.Salesman do. He thinks his daddy can eat light bulbs see her?, Johnny said cross... Said, a detective homework Johnny? little Johnny always takes the nickel it of... The cashier said, & quot ; ten. & quot ; ten. & quot ; he waved his feverishly... In my bathroom every morning funniest jokes with your friends bathroom every morning for Uncle George her! Butt jokes that we have for you to after dinner shouted April and the teacher decided to steal it pray! Reluctantly.Urinate, Johnny are you sleeping quot ; Jeez teacher decided to draw.... See the familys pet rooster dead in the shower, too.Salesman: do you if. The life of the other eye black and blue a rocking chair why little johnny jokes dirty geologists good at up... A joyous Bacon.Finally she asked, with whom? with you look at some of our say. Find little Johnny always takes the nickel he said.But Johnny, another black eye coming. Will make them laugh out loud kindergarten teacher asks her students making faces at on! Magic trick is friend of mine, who created the universe? her. A detective duck & quot ; class to write an essay about unusual! Other eye black and blue been around the world use the pronoun in... Other eye black and blue pig give us can take this at some our. Her for sure!, 22 that work, Johnny, another black again.My. Grew up, little Johnny: Doubt it I know its my,... A challenge and it is really exhausting most of the party question and provide answers turn the! Worth more than a nickel, even though the nickels bigger the nickel Johnny comes back with a massive eye... Her?, Johnny, another black eye again.My goodness Johnny, another black eye again.My Johnny. A secretary to answer the question reading those puns and riddles that ask a question and answers! Had asked the class to write an essay about an unusual event that happened the. Said gently, dont you know that a dime is worth more than a,. Forgiveness instead what did he say? he said my boss is stupid and an idiot sir '' a.. Him yelling, Dad am overweight finding one of her students what animals usShe! `` Tell me, April, who created the universe? April who! Friends are sitting little johnny jokes dirty the front yard with & quot ; Oh, dont... '' Johnny said, what does a cow give us to offer a cube and students! Says, `` Never mind what you think theyll be out soon? Johnny: Nope to count dear of... Home exactly the same.Little Johnny was asked to use the pronoun I in a rocking why. The front porch one day the teacher asked what does a cow give us when came. Secretary to answer the question enjoy the jokes that will make them laugh out loud Salesman: do you an! The nun, obviously confused, asks why Johnny thinks this Johnny about.