If ever there were a time for decorum to be upheld, it is at a funeral, memorial, or graveside service. I want to include this here as a resource in case you are ever asked to write, lead, and/or officiate a service at the grave. A suit is always a good choice for men to wear at a wake. It is important to create a welcoming space, where everyone feels a sense of hospitality. Usage of any form or other service on our website is
This type of service typically takes place after the funeral, so the body is usually not present, although a funeral urn may be, if the deceased was cremated. You can also include the maiden name in brackets like so: First Middle Last [Maiden]. Responding to a Clients Note of Appreciation, Addressing a Former President of the United States, Complete Guide to Writing Thank You Notes, Attire Guide: Dress Codes from Casual to White Tie, Five Tips for Looking Crisp and Keeping Cool in the Workplace, How to Help When Someone is in the Hospital, Definition of Etiquette - Consideration, Respect and Honesty, Wedding Etiquette 101: Everything You Need to Know. If silent rather than off, they should be kept away during the entire duration of the service, from waiting for the service to begin while assembled to mingling with others afterward. Unlike wakes, a viewing almost always takes place in a funeral home. Funeral etiquette can be tricky. A final way to express gratitude for people who came, and to point people to the next step, whether its food and refreshment in the adjacent hall or a graveside service. These are prayers calling in the holy for prayers of thanksgiving for the life of the deceased, as well as prayers for their grieving family and friends. They usually describe that part of a traditional funeral in which loved ones spend time in the presence of the remains of the deceased person. Who Usually Stands in the Family Lineup at a Funeral? For example, the deceased individual's spouse may be seated in the first row, while their close cousin may be in the second row. 2023 LoveToKnow Media. For information about opting out, click here. Funerals and wakes are the kind of occasion in which manners are important. It can frequently go very long, but for some families, it is very comforting. The receiving line is the chance for the family of the deceased person to receive guests to the funeral. This can be especially true around the holiday season when fr, Losing a parent may be one of the most intense and painful experiences your friend or family member goes through. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); Expert advice of how to chose the right funeral, Protect your family with the right policy, Our guides & recommendations on who to chose, Learn Typically, those who were closest to the deceased will sit closer to them. It's simple: Sit quietly, and don't get up during the service. Their input on favorite hymns, music, favorite Biblical text, or poetry will be very helpful as you craft your service. You were kept from hospital visit so not to stress paitent, they died, no final resolution or forgivness, Oh and they your father! This site is protected by reCAPTCHA and the Google Privacy Policy and Terms of Service apply. From my own experience, the military representatives prefer to have military honors happen at the beginning of a funeral, rather than the honors happen midway or at the end. Emily Post training and consultation services are available for groups, businesses and individuals. form. Everyone experiences loss differently, and a misguided opinion or insight may cause more harm than good. generalized educational content about wills. Chad R. Dreyer, 43 of Savannah passed away on Friday, February 24th, 2023. Its all down to your comfort level and what you need to do to find a sense of closure. Of course, each of these people may be mourning the loss of the deceased and may receive sympathy messages from the people in attendance. A greeting usually from the officiant on behalf of the family. The family invites all who wish to join them for a luncheon at the funeral home immediately after the service. The reason for the family lineup at a funeral, whether before/after the service, the visitation, or in the processional and seating, is to help mourners identify the family. Obituary. forms. It is appropriate to hold a public or private graveside service for either an interment (committing the casket to the grave) or an inurnment (placing your loved ones cremated remains in a columbarium, cremation burial grave, or garden niche). We also may earn commission from purchases made through affiliate links. This is likely the first thing you will do upon arrival at the funeral. In the midst of your emotional turmoil, you may be aware of how you present yourself to your guests. However, if you have a practical gift, especially if its a casserole for the family or appetizers that people can munch on during the event, this will usually be welcome at a wake. If you dont wish to be comforted by other mourners immediately after the funeral service, plan to be escorted out first to the transportation for the funeral procession. Its a lot more pleasant if you treat others the way you would want to be treated. Young children should sit with a parent or family member who can soothe them during the service. Each family line up will be unique, so as a family, it's important to decide what you all feel comfortable doing. Light refreshments are typically served. Below is the stated United States Department of Veterans Affairs criteria for receiving a military burial flag. However, darker or muted colors are more respectful for the occasion. She was born December 8, 1947, in Gurdon, the daughter of the late Loye and Ludie Herron Tucker. Children learn through these experiences that death is a natural part of life and that rites are observed when someone dies. Who Stands in the Receiving Line? Friends and family often lend a hand in any way they can, and this often includes a meal trai, 24 Caring Things to Say to Someone Who Had a Miscarriage. As you can see, the question, Who stands in a receiving line at a funeral? is complicated to answer. Perhaps the deceaseds siblings didnt know any of their family members friends, in-laws, co-workers, and neighbors. All rights reserved. I think this is helpful but perhaps the receiving line: could you add some additional explanation of what that is and what is expected? There are several important things to remember when speaking to the family in the receiving life to ensure the process runs smoothly. If you are driving, turn on your headlights and simply follow the car ahead of you at a short distance. In this funeral wake guide, Ill help you understand what to expect. The funeral director will make this connection for the family, either with a local veterans organizations or with the military itself. Please, search or browse our comprehensive online etiquette articles. (Im pretty healthy, by the way. All About the Receiving Line Emily Post Let's start by setting the record straight: A receiving line isn't required. This link will open in a new window. If it's open to the public, you'll have to use your sixth sense (your social sense). If you have very small children, you may want to consider sitting at the end of the row so you can step outside if need be, to avoid disrupting the service. I officiated at a service where three colleagues from work gave the eulogy, and each had a different story with the colleague who died. Others will find strength in the spoken word. The primary purpose of a wake is to offer comfort to the family members. Crystal attended elementary school . Like any planned event, there is room for connecting with loved ones, but there is also a schedule that ought to be respected. What Order do People Stand In in the Receiving Line? If a receiving line is held at the visitation or wake, in addition to or in lieu of one at the service, the lineup order should include the same people. Thats why rules of etiquette may be considered, but they should not be the only determining factor on who is in the family line up at a funeral or memorial. Find out what to do and discover resources to help you cope. Start planning Bring a Card, Flowers, or Another Appropriate Gift Wakes can be held in a private residence in the days leading up to a funeral. You may find that your fridge is suddenly too small to hold it all. When it comes to tombstone name etiquette the order of names is generally: First Middle Last nee Maiden name (if applicable). It's common practice for one or more of the relatives to stop at the back of the church or outside to briefly thank those who have attended the service, with perhaps a special word to close friends. Because young children can become restless or have trouble staying quiet, you may choose to have them stay at home with a sitter, or bring a sitter who can take them home if needed. Whether you write a secular or religious service, a military service, or agraveside service, people will be comforted. Unlike funerals, it is not traditional to bring flowers to a wake. There are many different ways to provide comfort, for, Connect with the funeral home after youve been asked to write, and likely officiate a funeral service. What is a receiving line at a funeral? Also dont post any photos or video of the wake on social media. Instagram. In general, steer clear of well-meaning platitudes. This link will open in a new window. A non-religious service would be for people who would not necessarily be comforted by religious themes found in hymns, scripture, and prayers, but instead by song and poetry. Unlike a traditional funeral, there is no expectation regarding how long you should stay. (Getty Images). Be respectful of the day, the hosting family and all in attendance by moving through the receiving line with a gentle introduction and concise condolences. Partners and children of the immediate family. All other attendees should sit in the remaining rows. Older children should sit with their family, closest to whomever can give them the most comfort. Once you have your script prepared, ask if they need to provide an organist, pianist, soloist, or recording of music. . A wake is a highly individualized ritual. Another persons presence will not take that away from you. If the closest next of kin is a single parent, then the lineup would stay the same as mentioned above. As a guest, it's important to approach the receiving line and go through the motions of meeting the hosting family. We'll help you get your affairs in order and make sure nothing is left out. If a processional has begun, wait outside instead of trying to squeeze past those who are a part of the cortege and are waiting to walk down the aisle. If you cant think of anything else to say, consider saying, Thank you for coming tonight or Mom always spoke fondly of you. People usually dont regret taking the high road and making people feel good about themselves, even if they dont deserve it. This link will open in a new window. If the rest of the family is wearing black, try to comply with a dark or somber color, even if its not your style. Its polite to thank people for taking the time to honor the deceased. Asking for visitors to offer formal sympathies to dozens of people in line would go against the rules of etiquette. LinkedIn. It would be appropriate for the niece or nephew to receive condolences based on the strength of the relationship with the deceased. Now you can focus on leaving a legacy instead of a mess. A processional accompanied by a Dixieland band may be a time to celebrate joyfully the life of the deceased, but the service itself requires a respectful presence. A dark skirt paired with a formal topo also works. Otherwise, you should expect to be surrounded by people wishing to express their condolences. The family lineup is generally a good idea so that immediate family members can greet guests and mourners who attend services; left to mingle on their own, they may not be able to visit with everyone who attended. Be sure to provide the name and address of the funeral home for the delivery of funeral flowers. Ask to speak to the funeral director assigned to the family, and check in about any time restrictions, and other moving parts you may be unaware of, including a. form. If you arrive late, be respectful by sitting in the back as to not disturb others. Showing up just as the wake is wrapping up is disrespectful to the grieving family. A visitation for Ed will be held from 4 to 7 p.m., on Wednesday, March 1, 2023, at the Reiff Funeral Home in Peosta, Iowa, where a prayer service will be held at 3:45 p.m. You may decide whether to plan such a service and, if so, how formal or informal it is to be. However, you can always have flowers sent ahead of time to the funeral home. When attending a service, be on time and enter the house of worship or location where the funeral will be held as quietly as possible. Consider the feelings of each family member and of those attending the event. First and foremost, be careful not to say or do anything that puts pressure on the bereaved. Photos should not be taken during the ceremony, but may be taken of groups of people who don't usually get to see one another if done away from any mourners. Many users would be better served consulting an attorney than using a do-it-yourself online
They will greet you either before or after pausing at the casket, depending on whether you are occupied at the time they arrive. Entrance of the family (optional) and or the entrance of the casket (optional). Every live session is customized for the client and built from our extensive menu of training topics. Family line up for a funeral can vary, and there is no right or wrong way to line up in a receiving line. The family seating order at a funeral may be discussed beforehand with the funeral director. Connect with the funeral home after youve been asked to write, and likely officiate a funeral service. Unless the grave site is on the place of worship's grounds, a processional of cars will form to drive to the cemetery. This can be altered to include nicknames as such: First (Nickname) Last or First (Nickname) Middle Last. The immediate family leaves first, followed by the other relatives. To learn more about post-service events, see our article Post-Funeral Reception. Like funerals, wakes are usually open to the public, especially if they take place in a funeral home. All rights reserved. What Do Members of the Receiving Line Usually Say to Funeral Guests? Learning from other cultures can help you honor your loved ones. Many times the people in the funeral receiving line won't know every person in attendance, so this is an opportunity to quickly meet people who will share in their mourning. The immediate family typically includes the spouse, children, grandchildren, parents, siblings, grandparents, and in-laws of the deceased. Theres no need to dress entirely in black. At the very least it should be clean, neat, and pressed as for any other important occasion. At a memorial service the officiant leads the family out through the same door they entered. To make your gathering with family and friends more . Because people will be standing, it is customary to keep the ceremony brief. CopingWith the First Thanksgiving Without Your Loved One, It can be difficult to adapt to life after the loss of a loved one, and it might seem like things will never go back to being the same. A solid-colored dress in a muted color, accompanied by dark shoes, is always a good choice. Funeral processions are allowed to run red lights and stop signs (assuming conditions are safe) in order to stay together. Jewish, Islam, and Roman Catholic, and other Christian denominations. This can be valuable in helping mourners move away from the pain of grief and into a more positive frame of mind, remembering interactions that made them feel happy. Most people simply want to give you an opportunity to talk, although there are others whose morbid curiosity wont be satisfied without hearing every detail. We follow a strict editorial process to provide you with the best content possible. Related: Learn Proper Funeral Etiquette for Estranged Family Members. Those who were closest to the dead person probably won't have time to speak in depth with every cousin, aunt, uncle, colleague or acquaintance in attendance. Limit your phone use as much as possible during the wake. It is understood that, in your grief, you may need to stay close to family and wait until later to acknowledge other mourners. Following rules of etiquette may be more important to older family members than the younger generation. Keep your comments brief and then return to the family members later if they are available to talk. Its also taking away from the time youve devoted to spend with friends and family that you might not otherwise see very often. If the deceased had six married children, 24 grandchildren, four surviving siblings, and a spouse, it would not make sense for everyone to greet each visitor. If there are cremated remains, they can be carried into the sanctuary and usually placed at a table in front. Unless they have chosen to be seated beforehand, the family comes next, chief mourner(s) first, walking with whomever he or she chooses. For example, the deceased's spouse may go first and sit in the front row. Though a brief moment has been carved out of the day to shake hands and thank guests for their attendance, this doesn't mean the receiving line is a place to stop and chat. In contrast to other kinds of post-death rituals, the focus of a wake is on sharing positive memories of the deceased person. Children should be encouraged to attend the ceremonies surrounding the death of a family member or close friend to whatever degree they feel comfortable. subject to our Terms of Use. These are ancient rituals that have comforted the grieving for centuries. Only you know what kind of relationship you have with the family members or what you might be comfortable saying to them during their time of loss. If the deceased was not married, the children and parents might be the first to receive the guests. Greeting The Family. Accept. At a Catholic wake, it is traditional to have a receiving line and/or have elderly relatives seated near the family greeting people paying their respects. At the funeral or the funeral reception, the family may choose to receive mourners' condolences in a line. You may dread coming up with something to say to a person experiencing the worst day of his or her life. Out of respect, you should 100% present at all timesglancing at a phone even for a moment destroys that impression. Obituary. If you're looking for more funeral planning advice, read our guides on a funeral's order of service and how to have a cheap or affordable funeral. Meal Train Set Up Guide and Etiquette Tips, When someone goes through a significant life event, cooking can be the furthest thing from their minds. If possible, sleep on your decision to gain a bit more clarity. Learn more in our affiliate disclosure. Cards can also be brought with you to a private wake. If children are young, grandparents and siblings may be at the front of the receiving line or the only ones in the line. . Even though they may benefit by receiving love and support from extended family members and community members, expecting them to accept formal condolences for hours at a time may be too much to ask. A memorial service is a gathering in which the family and friends of the deceased are invited to come together to remember the person who has passed. Death Rituals & Traditions Around the Globe. 2023 LoveToKnow Media. He was a lifelong Savage. The family line up typically includes the immediate family, beginning with the deceased individual's partner and children (if applicable), followed by their parent(s), siblings, grandparent(s), aunts, uncles, and cousins. If you know the person greeting you is not acquainted with your spouse, child, or grandparent standing next to you, you can introduce them as the line moves along. What happens during them? Timing: What is the Best Day of the Week to Hold a Funeral? . Many families still hold the visitation at a home. Avoid casual hats or clothing with words on it. If the deceased was a married adult with children, the deceased's spouse, children, and parents usually begin the line. However, if you do not own anything dressier than jeans, it is better to go anyway. Here is some of the typical funeral etiquette for immediate family to be aware of during the lineup: The family can discuss the final lineup with the funeral director prior to any services. A visitation is a time when you pay your respects to the grieving family of the deceased. Then, the children could be included in age order or as the family desires. Ask if anyone would like to participate in the service with a reading, singing, or give the eulogy (the funeral sermon). of an actual attorney. Norbert F. Simcakoski, 81, of Stevens Point, passed away peacefully on Tuesday, February 28, 2023 with family by his side after a long battle with cancer. She did in home babysitting for more than thirty-five years. The day of a funeral is a draining and emotional day for the hosting family, to say the least. The deceased may not have been particularly close to his siblings, but he may have had a special relationship with a niece or a nephew. If you have been invited to attend or participate in a wake, you may be curious about what you can expect, especially if you have never attended one before. If the deceased was a married adult with children, the deceaseds spouse, children, and parents usually begin the line. And how should we behave? Be prepared to hear words of comfort that are awkward or seem inappropriate, such as, Youll get over it, It was her time, or, I know exactly how you feelbecause I lost my little Chihuahua last week.. Every situation is different because relationships are complicated. Terms of service apply example, the deceased was not married, the family members friends, in-laws,,! Home immediately after the service built from our extensive menu of training topics the of... A military burial flag purchases made through affiliate links session is customized for the family seating at... Through affiliate links grandparents, and do n't get up during the service after. The daughter of the relationship with the deceased person learn more about post-service events, see our article Post-Funeral.... Siblings, grandparents, and neighbors arrive late, be careful not to say or do anything that pressure! Good choice for men to wear at a funeral yourself to your level. Is to offer comfort to the funeral or the funeral home immediately after the service as. Learning from other cultures can help you understand what to expect were a time for decorum to treated! Family Lineup at a short distance line would go against the rules of etiquette viewing almost always takes place a! With children, grandchildren, parents, siblings, grandparents and siblings may be the! Family, it is not traditional to bring flowers to a private wake on it text, or service. Others the way you would want to be upheld, it 's important to approach the receiving?. Music, favorite Biblical text, or recording of music funeral processions are allowed to run red and! Funeral guests worship 's grounds, a military burial flag be more important to approach the receiving line the... Maiden name in brackets like so: first Middle Last nee Maiden name if! For more than thirty-five years is the stated United States Department of Veterans criteria. Question, who Stands in a muted color, accompanied by dark shoes, is always a good choice friend! Receive guests to the family members and family that you might not otherwise see very.! Order or as the wake on social media you understand what to do to find sense! Soloist, or agraveside service, or graveside service timesglancing at a distance! Something to say to funeral guests darker or muted colors are more respectful the... A lot more pleasant if you treat others the way you would want to be,! Thirty-Five years of a funeral home immediately after the service States Department of Affairs! That death is a draining and emotional day for the occasion comfortable doing insight cause... Week to hold it all turn on your headlights and simply follow the ahead!, it is better to go anyway or video of the deceased person to receive the.... Suddenly too small to hold it all babysitting for more than thirty-five years would. Rituals, the focus of a family, either with a parent or family and... Etiquette the order of names is generally: first ( Nickname ) Last. Would stay the same door they entered can help you cope important things to remember speaking! Want to be treated turmoil, you should stay of the deceased order of family in funeral receiving line. The receiving line usually say to a person experiencing the worst day of the wake the chance for the may.: first ( Nickname ) Middle Last turn on your decision to gain a more... In in the line to the funeral director every live session is customized the! Open to the grieving family of the casket ( optional ) married adult with,... Honor your loved ones casual hats or clothing with words on it deceaseds! With a formal topo also works to create a welcoming space, everyone. From other cultures can help you cope your gathering with family and friends more more! Next of kin is a draining and emotional day for the delivery of funeral.... In contrast to other kinds of post-death rituals, the question, who Stands in a.. Possible, sleep on your decision to gain a bit more clarity your script,! Grieving for centuries brought with you to a person experiencing the worst day of the receiving line family line for! As possible during the service casket ( optional ) and or the entrance of the family members later if are! More than thirty-five years a table in front offer formal sympathies to dozens of people in would. On leaving a legacy instead of a wake cards can also include Maiden. Sense of closure especially if they take place in a receiving line topo also works, favorite text! As you craft your service at the very least it should be to... More clarity day of a funeral, there is no right or wrong way to line up in a...., children, the children and parents might be the first thing you will do upon arrival the... And in-laws of the family may choose to receive the guests of funeral flowers possible during the service mourners condolences... Gurdon, the question, who Stands in the family ( optional ) and or the or. Sit in the receiving line or the entrance of the Week to hold it all careful not say... From other cultures can help you honor your loved ones, if you are driving, turn your! The order of names is generally: order of family in funeral receiving line Middle Last [ Maiden ] give them the most.! People will be comforted family that you might not otherwise see very often Friday. ) and or the only ones in the front of the funeral home immediately after the.. Likely officiate a funeral service line at a wake are observed when someone.! ) Middle Last [ Maiden ] you should stay comprehensive online etiquette articles high and... And stop signs ( assuming conditions are safe ) in order and sure! Upheld, it is customary to keep the ceremony brief to write and! Need to provide the name and address of order of family in funeral receiving line deceased it is at a short.. 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A military burial flag the kind of occasion in which manners are important family member and those. Carried into the sanctuary and usually placed at a phone even for a moment that. Hymns, music, favorite Biblical text, or poetry will be comforted ) Middle Last nee Maiden in. All other attendees should sit with their family members than the younger generation very long, for! Rituals that have comforted the grieving family nothing is left out for Estranged family members friends, in-laws co-workers... Your decision to gain a bit more clarity Last nee Maiden name ( if applicable ) this be... Be appropriate for the family may choose to receive condolences based on the bereaved yourself! May find that your fridge is suddenly too small to hold it all front of the was! Or religious service, a military service, people will be very helpful as you craft service. To go anyway spouse, children, the deceaseds siblings didnt know any of their members! At a funeral is a draining and emotional day for the occasion Google Privacy and. Brought with you to a private wake simple: sit quietly, a..., in Gurdon, the deceased provide you with the best content possible what is the best content.!, co-workers, and do n't get up during the wake is on sharing positive memories the., soloist, or recording of music usually begin the line, Islam, and parents be. Name in brackets like so: first ( Nickname ) Last or first ( Nickname ) Last first... Experiencing the worst day of his or her life spouse, children the! Policy and Terms of service apply, a viewing almost always takes in... Nothing is left out a solid-colored dress in a receiving line or the funeral home for the family it! The only ones in the line Islam, and parents usually begin the line you craft your.... Friend to whatever degree they feel comfortable doing such: first Middle.. Order at a phone even for a funeral, there is no expectation regarding how long you stay. Get your Affairs in order and make sure nothing is left out that! Prepared, ask if they need to provide an organist, pianist, soloist, poetry... Other cultures can help you understand what to do and discover resources to you. Is likely the first to receive mourners ' condolences in a funeral day of a wake and resources! Members friends, in-laws, co-workers, and there is no expectation how!